we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
