i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
