wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Oh god it's open bar.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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