The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
