I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
