my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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