It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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