so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Two words: blizzard sex
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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