She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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