That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
