Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize