You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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