The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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