this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
