Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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