whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm too high and old for this...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
