You really coming over, don't trick.
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My liver just broke up with me...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
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