look no pants
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
How external is "for external use only"?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
