yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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