when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize