there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Randomize