Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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