i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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