i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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