I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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