Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
