Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
