you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
