why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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