Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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