from now on my penis is your penis
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We need a shit load of segways right now
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
