I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Your cock deserves a montage
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
