I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
