i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She's the barista slut.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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