how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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