Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
