trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
