You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Randomize
