You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
