her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i need some magic done to my vagina
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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