I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
