That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
