Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
