Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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