I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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