cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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