there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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