how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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