Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize