She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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