If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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