I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
