He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
