whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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