If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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