I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
