508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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