Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
