please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
