i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
