Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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