You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
