I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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