It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
