she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize