She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
