new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
