tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize