that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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