just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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