i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize