I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
