I am puke
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
